Why I Cried During Plyo (and not for the reason you think)

"WHAT!?  THERE'S NO CRYING IN PLYO!"

Yes, there is.

Only, it wasn't during the workout that I found myself suddenly tearing up.

It was afterwards.

As we, (the cast and I), finished the football drills at the conclusion of my very first go at P90X Plyo, I suddenly felt this well of emotion.  I was overwhelmed.  And then, just like that I cried a little.

(That's like saying, "I pee'd a little" or "I'm a little bit pregnant."  No.  I cried.  I admit it.  Full-blown tears)

Why?

BECAUSE I DID IT.

I have been looking at P90X infomercials for YEARS.  I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO IT.

• I don't have the time.
• I have two children.
• It's too hard.
• I don't have the equipment.
• I can't workout at home.
• It's too expensive.
• I'm 38.
• I'm 39.
• I'm 40.

Sure, I had to stop briefly during the 58 minutes of jumping and leaping and squatting and, yes, audibly grunting.  But what I discovered was an internal drive to get in those deep breaths, a little water, and then, JUMP BACK IN.  OK, so I had to slow down the pace at some points, but I finished. Strong.

And then the tears came.  As a complete surprise to me, I might add.  But just as quickly as they came, did I realize WHY they came.

The tears were due to a HUGE TRUTH about myself.

I have kicked an enormous habit.  What habit?  The habit of falling into a sedentary lifestyle? (For that was the path I was choosing).  No, that's too easy of an answer.  This truth goes much deeper.

The habit, my friends, was one that I think I've carried around all my life.  That being:

The habit of approaching challenges with the immediate belief that I couldn't possibly conquer the looming task before me due to one thing or another.

I'm a pretty confident person - and still, I've always carried this load either on one shoulder, or the other. Sometimes both.  And while I may have plodded through anyway, the fear has always lingered.  At times, the load would win - stopping me from trying something new.

Due to my experience with Team Beachbody, ChaLEAN Extreme, and now P90X (all two days of it), I think I have kicked "I can't" from the auto-pilot position in my life.  The physical success, and the business success from my journey with this company has actually fanned out into other areas of my life as well.

• I'm submitting writing pieces for freelance gigs more often.
• I'm auditioning for my first play since Zane was born.

The auto-response of "I can't" is such a sucky place to be.

It infringes on LIFE.

So, today, while panting, gulping water, and bending over to catch my breath, I cried.

Yeah, Plyo hurt.

And yet, that hour of physical exertion, felt a whole heck of a lot better than living with the beliefs I used to house in this body of mine.

Please, if you don't want me telling you that you CAN do it - don't ask.  I'll only annoy you with my answer.  Someone else put it this way . . .

"What do you REALLY want?  Sympathy?  Or a Solution?"

I CHOSE a solution.

And then cried like a baby.